(1) I’ve been having sexy dreams about the pretzels at Easy Tiger.
(2) WE TIED FOR FIRST AT GEEK BOWL VI!!!! When our team name was called we all had “Oscar face” (y’know, that ARE YOU SHITTING ME look). And then we buckled under the pressure of an on-stage tie-breaking round. I will never again forget the following: Michelle Obama is the child of Fraser and Marian Robinson; the currency of Hong Kong is THE (Hong Kong) DOLLAR; Bernie Madoff was sentenced to 150 years in prison, there are only TWO UN member nations whose name begins with a “Z” (why do I keep forgetting that Zaire changed its name?!), and Michael Jordan was a five-time regular season MVP (150 x 2 - 5 = 295).
There was another question we tanked, but I don’t remember that one. I hope it never gets asked again!
Yeah, not gonna lie. I pretty much forgot I had a tumblr until I was clearing out my approved applications on Facebook. And then for a week or so it didn’t cross my mind again. Not sure why I’ve decided to care now, but the “new year” thing got to me and I decided to once again try to be good at this blogging stuff.
It’s been six months and a boatload of stuff went down. If anyone who reads this (does anyone read this?) follows me on FB, G+, or Twitter you know this stuff so you can skip ahead.
In August I stepped in an unfortunately placed pothole (read: along the curb where I parked my car at a meter) and tore three ligaments in my right ankle. I was finally released back into the wild on October 18th.
In September Lazer and I celebrated our 7th anniversary. We still have no plans to get married. But if we ever do, I have black Vera Wang and Christian Dior gowns already picked out.
Fantastic Fest happened and I volunteered again. Made some great new friends including the awesome screenwriter of the The Corridor, Josh McDonald. If only Olias Barco (director of Kill Me Please, which I still need to see) and I had become pen pals.
The day after I was finished with PT Lazer and I went on our first non-family vacation in several years. We went to visit awesome friends in LA. I fell hopelessly in love with West Hollywood. I now want to move there.
While in LA I met Leslie Jordan. He told me (us) a good story. I can die now.
We returned from LA on October 25th. On October 27th I was in a car accident that totaled my car and jacked me up pretty good. Since then I have been recovering from neck/back damage, a broken ankle, more torn [ankle] ligaments, and tendinitis. Yes, it was the same ankle from before.
So here we are in January. I’m still going to PT for my ankle and I still want to move to West Hollywood. (Want to give me a well-paying job?) Not a whole lot else has happened yet. But I have decided to start purging. Stuff & people though, not my food. Food is too awesome.
Oh, and I will be 37 this year. It’s freaking me out! :(
Surprise! Once again I have been lax with my tumblring, but I’ve been concentrating a lot on G+. It has some kinks to work out, but I’m really a fan (reminder: http://gplus.to/thejanice). Ugh, I need to get my shit together. I keep saying I want to turn this into something good. We all know everything that flows from my fingers is pure gold, but, as previously discussed, I am pretty lazy.
I am not prepared to catch up on my best/worst meal. For over a week now all food/beverage that I have consumed has angered the gut gods and at this point I don’t remember what I ate before July 16. So even if it tasted good, I felt like total crap after, which puts everything on a level playing field. At the doctor’s request I have temporarily cut out dairy and fried foods and I have been trying to take a probiotic. (No, those friend pickles with ranch did NOT count. What happens at Master Pancake stays at Master Pancake.) The doctor thinks it may be gallbladder-related, which makes sense if you know anything about the ladies of my family. Blood test results came back normal though.
(FYI: I HAVE PERFECT BLOOD SUGAR! suck on that!)
In other news, you may or may not be a fan of chick flicks but Friends With Benefits (Timberlake/Kunis) was pretty dang funny. I definitely enjoyed it more than the Kutcher/Portman version of the “friends who try to have a non-committal sexual relationship” tale that came out earlier this year. I found Kunis’s character more personally relatable I suppose. Plus, she’s hot like whoa.
I’ll leave you with this affirmation. It is totally normal to sing songs to your cats.
I’ve been eating cantaloupe, along with watermelon and some grapes, nearly every morning for breakfast. It has totally been improving my mood, at least for a little while until the day’s disasters strike. So I think I’m going to just come straight out of the gate declaring breakfast cantaloupe as my best meal of the week. And I am going to bestow the honor of worst meal to the cucumbers I got from the office cafeteria. Horribly bitter and nearly ruined my (slightly modified) caprese salad.
I also got a new girlfriend this week. She’s beautiful and classy. She’s obviously “the better half” in this partnership. Meet Fancy Lola.
I’ve also ventured into the world of Google+. I like it for the most part. But I really don’t get people who sign up and make posts to the tune of ”OK, now what?” You joined a social network. Be social. Engage the people you’ve purposefully linked yourself to. If you have no idea what G+ is or the point of it all, read anyone of the gazillion articles out there or just don’t join up. I’m not saying I win at G+, but I am saying you can throw me in a circle and you might be moderately informed/amused. http://gplus.to/thejanice
I have been [mildly] obsessed with a few things recently.
cantaloupe with black pepper – FYI, anything in the melon family tastes amazing with black pepper!
https://ooliveoil.com/ - I found the jalapeno-lime olive oil at my neighborhood H-E-B. I’m also really, really interested in the blood orange olive tapenade, citrus-champagne vinegar, and yuzu rice vinegar.
campy shows on ABC Family – Okay, this has actually been going on for a while (Greek, Make It or Break It, Pretty Little Liars), but it’s getting worse (better?) with the new shows this summer season (Switched at Birth, The Nine Lives of Chloe King).
This was a surprisingly low-stress week at work aside from moving offices. My new spot is smaller and I see people pass by my window all day long, but I’m learning to like my digs. I’ve already settled in and have my stuff all set up, including my new Harry Potter Lego set.
I fee like I’m lacking focus outside of work though (more than usual). I’m not sure if it’s just me being lame/lazy or if it’s because work has me so tired. I feel like I need to be more creative, but my brain is a big ol’ blank. I’m also thinking I should turn this blog into something with more focus, but I feel as though the blogosphere is so saturated with things I’m interested in (fashion, beauty, food, tv, & movies). And I’m just not sure I can muster the brain power necessary to find a way to differentiate myself, right now anyway. There’s also that oh-so-common self doubt-y thought “who really gives a shit what I think?” Blah blah blah. Wah wah wah. I suppose my mid-30s are just making me obnoxiously introspective and mid-life-crisis-y. Just ignore me, I’m totally having a LiveJournal moment.
On the other hand, I’m pretty proud of myself. Usually when I get the blahs it leads to massive amounts of shopping (clothes & shoes), but I’ve managed to limit my spending and (mostly) focus it on practical things for the house, like a pretty fatigue mat for the kitchen.
And in more good news, I went back to trivia for the first time in forever. We won. Team Dong is unstoppable!
Best meal: pizza made at home (thin crust, jalapeno tomato sauce, asparagus, green olives, italian 4-cheese blend) Worst meal: mediocre salad from the work cafeteria salad bar
Working too much. Again. So I’ll just say a few things and do another best/worst.
(1) I work too much. (Wait, did I already say that?) This needs to stop. I left work today at 8:30pm. Not cool. (I got there at 8:30am.) My new mandate: no more than 2 hours of overtime per day and no more than 8 hours of overtime per week. Even that sounds depressing.
(2) Thankfully the excessive working hasn’t screwed up my left arm again. I enjoy having use of it.
(3) I missed out on tickets to a midnight screening of Harry Potter. :( *shakes fist at work*
(4) I finally saw Bridesmaids again. BRIGHT SPOT! It was just as funny the second time around. Maybe even funnier. I noticed a few subtle laughs I missed the first time around. I love you, Kristen Wiig.
(5) I went to a lovely, worthy-cause charity event for Grounded in Music. It was a fancy hat & champagne event. My hat wasn’t so fancy, but the champagne & sparkling wine was yum. There were some really interesting champagne cocktails that I’ll have to try on my own (add homemade flavored simple syrup). And the sommelier-led tasting had my favorite Schramsberg Blanc de Blancs (2007). Yes, I know it’s technically a sparkling wine, but just know that they hold themselves to the same set of rules followed by sparkling wines from the Champagne region of France. </end nerd talk> And the Travaasa Austin was gorgeous! I almost didn’t notice that it was painfully hot outside.
(6) Best meal: asparagus + jalapeno + red onion pizza from Salvation. my favorite pizza.
(7) Worst meal: we bought gluten-free pasta made with pea protein. it was so gross.
(8) OH YEA! Buffy has not been slaying roads lately. I am disappointed in her. First her battery dies out of nowhere (no warning wheezes) and then she goes and picks up a giant nail. A new battery and a new tire all in the same week. I smell sabotage.
Okay, I am a little behind on my first best meal/worst meal post so this first one will cover the last week and a half.
Best Meal: hands down it would be (last night’s) dinner at Blanco Cafe’s original location at Blanco & Elsemere in San Antonio. I had my usual cheese enchilada plate w/ ranchero sauce and double rice. Any week I have this meal it’s the best by default, but since I’ve made it my first I’ll disqualify it in the future.
Worst Meal: definitely Monday’s dinner at Cafe on the Square in San Marcos. I had grilled cheese + jalapeno with onion rings. Seemingly innocuous, but it the bread was greasy, the cheese wasn’t properly melted, and the onion rings were on par with the store-brand frozen kind. To be fair, it wasn’t terrible. I mean, I *did* eat it. But for an established, well-reviewed cafe I expected something better than what I can get at Sonic.
Work has been consuming my life lately. In recent weeks I’ve been averaging more than 10 hrs/day. That’s just gross. However, it looks like I’ll leave the office today BEFORE the sun sets. WOO! And tomorrow is an early dismissal day. (Thanks, Office of the CEO!) And I scheduled a 90-minute theraputic massage for tomorrow afternoon with a woman called Olga. (Sounds terribly promising, right?!) And it’s a three-day weekend. And I’ve got a trip to the salon planned for Saturday. And my friend Lou will be here on Saturday. (He’s always fun.) When you add all of these things together it makes for a promising weekend that should result in a rested Janice with the (hopefully) renewed ability to hug. (My left arm isn’t all that interested in raising above my shoulder, if that!)
Now that the informative portion of our chat is out of the way, what prompted me to post something in the first place was this: Why do I allow myself to get so angry when a Black-Eyed Peas song creeps into my head?
P.S. I am wearing a vest and I obviously like parentheses (obviously). And I (obviously) like the word “and.”
My lovely friend Karen took me out for a belated birthday lunch on Tuesday and I got one of the best Engrish-y fortunes that I’ve seen in quite some time.
And when I got home, my day got even better. My gift from Lazer finally arrived all the way from BRAZIL!
Apparently the (nearly) past seven years of hearing me lament over the loss of my Appetite for Destruction vinyl (with original, NOT censored cover art) did not fall on deaf ears. Definitely one of the best birthday gifts ever.
Random Musing: Why don’t people utilize the “mute” button if they’re not speaking on a conference call? Hearing other people’s heavy breathing is really creepy.
Well, really because the previous blog post was already too long, I am throwing a short one together to talk about other events from last week.
WEDNESDAY: I signed up for a skeeball league. I am really not a fan of forced punny names, but that seems to be a requirement so we are MC 900 Ft Skeesus. I am also supposed to come up with a nickname for myself. I have three ideas: (1) just change the spelling of my last name to Noskee; (2) Booger Assassin; (3) Snotty J. That’s all I’ve got.
THURSDAY: I went to a lovely little event, P.S. – A Paramount/Stateside Affair, at the Paramount Theatre/Stateside Theatre. Coordinated by my new friend (Nighttime) Nick Barbieri along with Tolly Mosely of Austin Eavesdropper, it was a social networking/blogger event to launch the newly-renovated Stateside Theatre and promote the Paramount’s Summer Film Series. I am just going to come right out and say this, I WANT TO EAT HER UP WITH A SPOON! So cute. She’s so much more driven and focused than me that this adoration is definitely tinged with some faux hate. Grrr! Also, she looks much cuter in the event photos than I do. (NO I WILL NOT LINK TO THEM!) When will I learn how to take a proper photo and stop looking like a I require a helmet and short bus? WAH! It shouldn’t take 50 tries before I stop looking dumb. No, seriously.
Yes, that’s right. Yesterday was a big day in Janiceland. I had a birthday, making me 36. I am now officially closer to 40 than 30. I had a surprisingly easy time turning 30, but this one is really getting to me. Only the gnomes churning the wheels in my brain really know why. It just is what it is. Regardless, this was a weekend of celebration.
FRIDAY: We started off with dinner at Second Bar + Kitchen. This is our second visit, the first being for Lazer’s birthday soirée back in February. Once again I was not disappointed. A few of the menu items were still around, but many had been updated to work with seasonal ingredients or were replaced entirely to make way for spring/summer treats. The cocktail that Becca hipped me to last visit (Pilgrim’s Afternoon: white port, cranberry seltzer, citrus) was gone from the menu, but the bartender obliged my request. HOORAY! The chicken-fried pimento-cheese-stuffed olives also made a repeat appearance. I could eat a bucket of those things. NO JOKES! New to the menu was a corn gazpacho and given the heat we’ve been experiencing it sounded like a welcome break from hot food. I WAS NOT WRONG. It was excellent and I want to eat it every day!!! I also repeated my order of gnocchi since it was one of the updated dishes. The sauce was lighter and brighter in flavor, definitely a good fit for summer, and it gets another thumbs up. And because it was my birthday we HAD TO HAVE dessert. I ordered the buttermilk pecan pie. It was really good, but I didn’t have any religious moments or anything. Maybe that’s because I grew up with a grandfather who made some of the best pecan pie I’ve ever had the pleasure of inhaling.
buttermilk pecan pie
The rest of Friday night was spent at the Paramount Theatre for the late show of Craig Ferguson. I really enjoyed him (the opener was okay, but nothing noteworthy, for me atleast). I laughed and grinned so much my face hurt when all was said and done. GREAT START to a dreaded birthday weekend.
SATURDAY: Things got off to a slow start, but we eventually made it to San Antonio and Blanco Cafe. If you’ve known me for more than five seconds you know that this is my gold standard for casual Mexican food (I call it kitchen-Mex). The tortillas are homemade, the salsa ranchera is out of this world, and they have the best verde salsa EVER. It’s not your traditional over-vinegared tomatillo salsa. Instead it’s just hot and pepper-y. Every time I go home I insist on going to Blanco and I bring back at least one 12-oz container of the stuff. This time I brought home three, but two are gifties. (I AM A GREAT FRIEND!) Post-lunch I got my mom & dad to meet us at Cavender’s to go boot shopping. (It sounds weird, right?) After I posted the picture of the brown boots I purchased a few weeks back, my mom has been wanting to borrow them. Instead, my sister and I decided to throw in and get her a pair for an (early) Mother’s Day gift. She was super excited. Not only did we find her a pair, I got some new boots, too.
Saturday evening marked the family birthday dinner. This year I dragged them to Auden’s Kitchen (new-ish venture from Biga on the Banks's Bruce Auden). My dad can be a difficult diner between his limited food likes and his memory problems, so this was a gamble but it totally paid off! He devoured his buttermilk-fried chicken; we were afraid he was going to start eating the bones! I had a tomato-cheese pizza that had really great flavor, but the crust was a bit too flimsy to support the weight of the large tomato slices. I really loved my Hop Czar beer though! If I ever get there again, I think I'll go back to the mac & cheese. I had sexy food dreams about that dish. Or maybe I'll try something new. Everyone else was extremely pleased with their food. I was seriously eying the sticky toffee pudding (Biga's recipe), but my mom had a birthday cake at home. She couldn't find the candles, so I blew out a tea light. Heh.
SUNDAY: This was the actual day of my birth, but it was serving as an early Mother’s Day celebration. We went to brunch at Le Peep. The food was the same as last time. Pretty good, but nothing better than you generally expect at a reputable brunch spot. After this, we had a bit more family time before Lazer and I headed off to celebrate with my birthday twin, Vanessa. We met up with her at The Cove. Several people have asked me about this place since its appearance on “Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives” but this was my first experience. It’s very unusual: bar & grill, laundromat, and self-serve car wash. The beer selection was impressive and the menu had several vegetarian-friendly options though they are phasing out the hummus plate (ugh!). Still full from brunch, we just had drinks (Independence Stash IPA, Duvel, Boylan sodas - yum!) and chips y salsa. Their fire-roasted salsa was even better than Rosario’s, in my opinion. The rest of my (actual) birthday consisted of driving home, eating Thai food on the couch, and catching up on TV. Totally an old person’s birthday, but I am just fine with that.
I bought a replacement bike last weekend (yea!) and rode it for the first time this week. Lazer and I woke up a bit late and rode up to the neighborhood coffeeshop for bagels and chai. Then we invited my sister wife to meet us. That resulted in me drinking almost an entire pitcher of mimosas by myself. How did I not get drunk? Weird.
After that we decided to find me a floppy sun hat and drove across town to Nordstrom only to realize the mall was closed. EASTER FAIL! Instead, we went to Toy Joy where I scored an OWL PENHOLDER!!! EASTER WIN!
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WTF is up with my DVR? A week or so ago it recorded something on the Golf network instead of “Destination Truth” on SyFy (set to record series). One time fluke? NOPE. Tonight we were going to watch this week’s episode of “Top Chef Masters” (also set to record series) but instead it recorded something on BET. AND it didn’t record the last episodes of “The Event” and ”Mad Love.” Who knows what else we’re missing! :( At least it didn’t mess with “Doctor Who.” I might have cried. Also, did “Mr. Sunshine” get canceled? It was hilarious and I miss it’s snappy theme song. *sigh*
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I’m super stressed about planning something for my birthday and I’m totally doing it to myself. I always do a dinner thing, but then stress about people not wanting to spend money. This year I thought about making a dinner at the house and having everyone over to watch one of my faves, The Legend of Billy Jean, but the mere thought of fitting people in our house gave me heart palpitations. Can someone else plan this for once, please?
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One last thing. Bridesmaids was outstanding. I laughed so hard I cried and I flat-out cried. I seriously can’t wait for the official release so I can watch it again. If you love funny and you love your ladies, please, see this flick!
I made out like a pirate bandit this weekend. Friday: signed Gayroller 2000 print arrived Saturday: gorgeous cut/color from Naomi @ Modesty & a check for the last of my goods @ MOSS Sunday: sassy new cowboy boots (pic below), grape licorice, & hot-like-fire orange lipstick (NARS Heat Wave semi-matte)
Unfortunately, this weekend wasn’t all candy and unicorns. (1) The cops STILL haven’t called me about my stolen bike and I’m starting to think they never will. (2) I took my car to H2O Handwash @ Lamar/Barton Springs to redeem my Groupon. For the most part, my car looked pretty. However, everything felt sticky inside, I still had to pick big strands of gross oak pollen off the floorboard and they didn’t rehook my driver’s-side floormat. There were also spots where you could tell they started to clean up dirt/grime, but didn’t finish it out. For a service that retails for $85, I expected a bit more. And had I been given the opportunity to see the finished product BEFORE I tipped, things would have gone down a bit different. (3) I got a sunburn. :(
At least this week is looking promising. Tonight the plan is to FINALLY see Paul. Wednesday I have a preview screening of Bridesmaids on the calendar. And Thursday we’ll be in the park drinking beer and watching Strange Brew. Sometime in there I really need to figure out what I want to do for my birthday.
I really wish that cold snap would return. I got to bust out my blinged-out Estelle Getty sweater (below). I also prefer to wrap myself in blankets. Heat + humidity are not friends with sweaters and blankets. Heat + humidity are not friends with my lungs.
BEST CARDIGAN EVER! (Why yes, those ARE sequins!)
Lazer and I went to a friend’s birthday party on Friday night, out on a porch. I was miserable. It was only 80-ish, but I felt as though I were in a sauna. So gross. I don’t remember it always being this way, but it seems I can handle less and less each year.
More downers this weekend: (1) all of the friggin’ pollen (ugh, dying!); (2) driving across town for Fat Tomato salsa and Costco being sold out despite getting it in stock yesterday.
On the bright side, we got an awesome new chair today. I love it and so do the cats. It was our first trip to Uptown Modern and it was an instant success. This could become an issue though. I saw so many things I wanted to bring home. Eep!
I started a post mid-SXSW but was so exhausted that I kept falling asleep while typing. I could have sworn I saved it as a draft, but *POOF* it’s not there. I only vaguely remember what I was saying, but I am sure it had something to do with how much I enjoyed my small brushes with the Interactive and Film portions of the festival and how much I’ve come to dread the Music portion. It probably has something to do with me getting old, disliking [smelly] crowds, and general disappointment in the state of popular music. I mentioned to someone that it seems the more interested I have become in film the less interested I have become in new, live music. It probably also had something to do with how a random Twitter request for help with a place to stay during SXSW Film turned into tons of fun with new friends, Tom and Andy. I really hope they come back for aGLIFF in September!
Another SXSW bright spot was Lauren x 2 (Flax & Dillard), better known as Creep. I hadn’t seen Flax in years, so it was awesome to see her. It was my first time meeting Dillard and I <3 her! Their visit was sort-of whirlwind, which stinks. I hope I’ll get a chance to hop over to the City and visit both of them when Lazer and I are up in Long Island come August.
Meet Lauren Flax & Lauren Dillard:
On a totally different topic, a thought I’ve had several times before came to me again today. I would love to start a non-profit design coalition with the sole purpose of redesigning and copyediting the menus. I cry inside each time I see a menu marred by cheap clip art, crappy typography, and typos. Who’s with me?
Since the day my W-2 arrived I have said “I will do my taxes tonight!” and, obviously, it hasn’t happened. Because if it had, I wouldn’t be sitting here killing time while my H&R Block account takes 20 minutes to reset since I’m a dumbdumb and guessed at my username and password too many times. I was just about to close the laptop and head off to bed when I said (yes, out loud to myself) “I will NOT go to bed until my taxes are done.” I followed this up with a tweet declaration so now I must REALLY hold to my word. Which brings us to now. So in a streak of boring, I’ll tell you about my day.
Work was filled with hurry up and wait, which bugs the crap out of me. It makes the day go by so slowly. You don’t want to take on another task because you’re waiting on something that’s already late and need to be available when the time comes. And since I reached the end of the internet years ago, it doesn’t leave much to do. I wound up taking a late “lunch” to get a mocha (soy + toffee nut syrup + sea salt) and do some window shopping. The window shopping turned into real shopping. (Side note: trying on slim-fitting high-rise denim while wearing tights is a dumb idea.) I nabbed a colorful buttondown and love knot ring at Madewell. I will probably wear my new loot tomorrow. Oh, and I had to go back because they forgot to put my ring in the bag.
I should’ve continued with the great spring cleaning/organization almost immediately after arriving home, but I didn’t. Instead I ate dill pickle popcorn, researched Chicago Comic Con, and watched Bones on TNT. Noah and I putzed around after that, ate dinner and watched some TV (*sniff* Goodbye, GREEK *sniff*). So we didn’t get started on our cleaning until nearly 9:30. We are true procrastinators, though we made a surprising amount of progress in three-and-a-half hours, even though we were distracted a few times by cats and bathtub ninja (pictured below).
So here we are, not even close to 20 minutes from starting this, so I still can’t do my taxes. Wah. At least you got to read this really long, boring story. I’ll leave you with one more photo. Butter sword.
FIRST! What the hell? I had one of the strangest dreams ever last night. It was about me driving two co-workers home, but for some reason I was driving a HUGE car where I could not see over the steering wheel or reach the pedals. As a result I was swerving all over the place and spinning out constantly. I felt like I was driving a giant-sized go-cart. HUH?
NEXT! I absolutely cannot believe how productive I have been the past few days. Sure, the impending arrival of the in-laws is a nice catalyst, but I am seriously astounded. I’ve also been spending money—on organizational items of course—so that doesn’t hurt the process. The hideous carts in my epic hallway will soon be empty and their contents will, finally, have a real home. The unwanted furniture, clothing, and shoes are being donated or sold off. (Side note: I hate being low-balled by Buffalo Exchange, but I have to remember that it’s better than receiving $0 while all that shit sits in a pile at the bottom of my closet.) It feels good to cleanse and organize, but I always put it off. There’s still more to do, but at least I’m off to a good start.
LAST! I’m really looking forward to SXSW this year. I can’t say I’m super psyched on a gazillion bands, because I haven’t even heard of most of them. I’m more so excited to have some time off, get a little crazy, see what StyleX is all about, and see the lovely face of my friend Lauren. Yeah, the house is going to be hectic. In addition to the in-laws (mom, dad, brother), sassy Lauren and her bandmate (also Lauren) will be making mi casa a temporary home. Should be interesting. At least we have two full bathrooms.
P.S.: If you didn’t already know, I am totally fascinated by D.B. Cooper.
In a recent post I talked about my supreme laziness. This resulted in me talking to the crazy doctor about it as well. I asked her why I was so lazy and such a big procrastinator; she pointed out that it’s sort-of a form of self sabotage practiced by perfectionists. If they can’t do something perfectly, why bother putting in the effort? It makes a fair amount of sense, so I guess that causes of SOME of my laziness. I’m not guilt-free here, so I’m not going to pass the buck and say it’s all due to some innate behavioral trait. There are a decent number of times where I just don’t want to do something because it requires more physical or mental exertion that I care to expend at that moment in time. Apparently this “perfectionist laziness” also comes with some degree of ADD. SWEET! Add to that my tendency to over analyze things and I’m just a big ol’ nutbag, huh?
Sometimes people say platitude-y things that make me want to smack them and shout “DUH!” For example, “It’s always in the last place you look.” Really? How can that be? I mean, why on Earth wouldn’t it be in the second-to-last place? Oh wait, because once you find what you’re looking for, YOU STOP LOOKING!
Another that has come to mind recently is something I’m guilty of. “The world is filled with two kinds of people. People who [A] and people who [B].” You can replace “[A]” and “[B]” with a myriad of items. One famous-ish example is “People who like The Rolling Stones and people who like The Beatles.” Except this is a big, fat, stinkin’ lie. I like The Rolling Stones AND The Beatles, and I’m sure there are others like me. Then there’s another group of people who couldn’t care less about either band.
This all came to mind last night as I was driving to meet a friend for dinner and drinks. Now I can’t even recall exactly which categories I was trying to use to pigeonhole the world. So while these things may be huge overstatements, I’ll tell you one thing I am nearly positive is filled with universal truth: If you don’t like Queen, you’re probably a bad person.
Since it’s past midnight it’s actually Tuesday which means I certainly DID NOT post four times in one day. Nope. Didn’t happen. Anyway, after all of my searching to find a theme that allows comments, I still wasn’t happy with the feature. Why? Because that’s just how I am. Seriously though. I didn’t like that I couldn’t comment back. That’s poopy. One day I will have more than four followers (maybe?) and I might want to have a comment conversation. You never know. It could totally happen. Totally keeping the theme though. Really like the color scheme I came up with … for now.
On the topic of poopy (I mean it in a good way), I really want this chocolate brown nail polish from OPI.
I always thought I was a nouveau Andie Walsh, but it seems more and more that I’m a modern Amanda Jones. This first occurred to me last spring when I was strolling through Target in olive green linen shorts, a tank top, boyfriend-style cardigan, and brown riding boots. I repeated the outfit and variations thereof throughout the summer, including this getup on vacation in Tucson:
And today it happened again in the ensemble below (roll-cuff gray twill paperbag trousers, heathered purple v-neck tee, black cardigan, black platform booties).
I have been so frustrated by the fact that I can’t make this my primary blog, to the point that I was just going to move it to blogger or some other platform. And then it hit me, only a few moments ago. JUST RENAME THE FIRST BLOG AND REPOST EVERYHING! I can’t believe I am such a dumb and just now thought of this. #duh
Let the migration begin!
Edited @ 4:33 pm Aaaaaaaaaaand DONE! All posts from the other version have been migrated to the main account, merging them with what used to be a blog about Noah’s crapload of t-shirts. I thought about deleting those, but why? Now it’s all here, all together, a big blog casserole. Eat up.
I recently found a notebook page filled with doodles, quotes from, and snarks about some sort of mandatory sensitivity/employee conduct training I attended at some point. There were to real gems in there.
(1) There was a segment where you had to choose which remark or behavior (regarding race) was inappropriate. One of the choices was “Singing the theme song from Shaft when an African-American co-worker enters the room.”
(2) During another segment examples of what could happen to you if you behaved inappropriately were shown, one of which was being “forced” to work as a toll booth operator.
My awesome friend Nadyne is FINALLY well on her way to delivering baby Oliver. Yesterday her husband sent me a text that read “Are you excited to be an auntie!?” and my immediate response was YES!!!! But I’m already an aunt and Nadyne isn’t my sister. Still, I can’t help but think of this little poop factory as a nephew. Which got me to thinking about a woman I called “Aunt Nancy” growing up. She was my grandmother’s best friend and a constant in my life from the day I was born until the day she died. I hope I can be that for Oliver.
EDIT @ 11:25 am It’s only been an hour and a half since Nadyne texted me to say she was 9cm dilated and 90% effaced, hoping Oliver would be here within hours. As soon as I clicked “Post” I received an e-mail from Nadyne’s (real) sister saying that little Oliver arrived about an hour ago. He weighed in at 7lb 2oz and there were no complications. Just got a pic from Daddy Darby, so I’ll post that in a sec!
Over the weekend I thought of a gajllion things to blog but didn’t have my computer with me. Now I’m having massive brain farticus and the only thing I can remember is one of the ridiculous license plates I saw yesterday: HNT FSH. It was on a truck plastered with hunting stickers and a gun rack. YEEFUCKINGHAW!
Oh! I was also going to blabber on about how obsessed I am with my newest cosmetics purchase. Background first. In my search for great, long-wearing lipstick I came across NARS velvet matte lip pencil. You see, it’s the precision of a pencil with the coverage of a lipstick. And the colors are fantastic; I have FOUR (Cruella, Damned, Dragon Girl, Walkyrie). So when I heard this same fantastic format was going to be available in a gloss, I nearly peed my pants with joy! The colors aren’t totally what I hoped they’d be (only two strike my fancy), but it’s still pretty great. Hopefully they’ll expand and come out with a glossy red comparable to Dragon Girl. *swoon*
Sloth! It's not just my cat's name, it's a lifestyle choice.
When I have personal conversations with co-workers and talk about how lazy I am, they look at me like I’ve gone bonkers and say things like “NO WAY! You’re such a hard worker!” And it’s true. At work. I bust my butt and take my job very seriously. (SHUT UP, YES I DO!) I am willing to come in early, to stay late, or work the occasional weekend. I feel an obligation to fulfill my responsibilities within the time frame given, regardless of how unreasonable it may be.
So what do I really mean when I say that I’m lazy? I mean to say that the moment my car exits the parking lot, a wave of apathy washes over me. All I want to do is lie around. Sure it gets boring, but sometimes the laziness is so overwhelming that deciding what to watch on TV is too taxing so you know there’s no way in hell I’m going to get off my ass and do something REAL. For sobbing out loud, I’ve even been TOO LAZY TO EAT! WTF, right? Shit’s not normal!
I am not making this up. I went to the breakroom to heat up my sad SmartOnes “entrée” and saw a group of my co-workers practicing tai chi in a smallish open area. Am I weird for being weirded out or are they the weird ones?
I’ve been threatening to make a “real” blog for some time. Why now? Who the hell knows, but what’s done is done and here it is. And, look!, I’m using proper capitalization. SHIT JUST GOT REAL!
Over at the now-defunct (ish) t-shirt blog, I introduced this here bloggity blog and expressed that I’m still not quite sure what it’s all going to be about. It might be about things that appall me. It might be about the random phrases I spit out. Or it may be about nutty things I see and hear. Whatever it’s about, I do promise to try my best at being [somewhat] consistent with posting. But, like the title says, I’m easily distracted.
since Noah has taken over cataloging his t-shirts via FB, i decided to make a new blog. not really sure what it’s going to be about yet, other than the totally random shit i come up with. I’m not kidding. I come up with some ridiculous shit such as nonsensical sayings like “tears make you taller” and “i feel shittier than doo-doo in a monkey hole.” seriously. i said those. out loud. to other people.
I got really lazy. Getting Noah to put the shirts on, taking the photos, adding the info in Photoshop was apparently more time than I was willing to put into this. Listen, we all know that if it’s something I’m doing solely for myself I lack any amount of followthrough. Don’t act surprised. Instead, go look at all of the t-shirts in Noah’s Facebook albums. Not like anyone (except Heather) read this shit anyway.
Sloth, it’s not just the name of my cat but also a disease from which I suffer. When I tell people I am lazy they look at me like a big pile of cray-cray (that’s Janice/Noah speak for “crazy”). But I am. I keep forgetting to take pics of Noah’s shirts until he is tucking me into bed (yeah, I’m an old lady, so what?) and then I forget to upload for a few days. Also, some blame should be laid at the feet of Noah because he slacks in giving me the requisite info.
What I’m saying here is blogging every day is hard when you’re lazy, but rest assured all shirts WILL BE DOCUMENTED.
p.s.: this is really only directed at Heather, a.k.a. my only subscriber. WAAAAH